My first birthday (a photo blog)

By Reesah Martens

Transcribed by my Auntie Kate (the best Auntie ever!)

Today, I turned one year old. Everyone seemed to be really excited, especially my Auntie Kate. I had heard the word "Birthday" thrown around a few times when mama was changing my diaper this morning, but when Auntie showed up with pink frills, gifts, and chocolate treats, I have to admit, I was a little scared.

 

Things got a little better after lunch, when Auntie came toward me with a piece of chocolate tart. She was really happy, and she was singing something. It was on fire, but she put it right in front of me. So I grabbed it. Sorry, lady, what did you want me to do? I'm one. The chocolate treat was delicious, by the way.

Downside to chocolate treats? Chocolate, everywhere. The more I got on me, the more they loved it. As I tried to get the sweet goodness into my mouth, it kinda got smeared. But come on, people. Throw me a freakin' bone here! Need I remind you? I'm one. Fine motor skills aren't perfect, so don't stand there and laugh. Wipe this shit off my face.

The presents were pretty cool, even though I got clothes. I guess that's not the lamest gift ever. It could have been books. But one question? Why did my sister get a gift? I'm confused. Is she one year old today? Didn't think so. This photo was taken before she realized she got a book. Check out the excitement on her face.

We went outside to play, which was cool, I guess. Minus the wind practically blowing me away, while mama and Auntie stood there taking pictures of me. Ladies? Little help here?

My sister Mikenah started to get rowdy, which usually means she needs her nap. Here she is, attacking Auntie, at which point I saw Auntie's underwear multiple times. Seriously Auntie, next time you decide to roll around in the grass, invest in longer dresses.

The best part of my birthday was getting to hang out with mama, daddy and my sis. Kenah and Daddy made me a cake in the easy bake oven, and we spent lots of time cuddling.

Auntie says I'm too young to let birthdays stress me out. She says I should wait until I turn 27 and my friends plan a beautiful party for me and I lock myself in my room and cry because I'm going to be 30 in three years and no one even flirted with me on my birthday. Whatever that means. Sometimes that woman's so hard to figure out. But she gives me lots of kisses, so we're all good.

All in all, it was a fabulous day. And I NEVER say fabulous. I'm one, after all.

Happy Birthday to me.